It’s now four years since I first knew the sweetness of Your Presence.
You rescued me from a life that was not worth living.
A life shared with another, but full of emptiness.
No real sharing with him,,
No pleasing him,
No love from him,
No meaning to any relationship.
When desperation came,
When there was no way out except the wrong way –
There You were.
Your arms were open, and You were walking towards me.
I didn’t need to hunt for You –
You found me.
Just two words. That’s all you said.
You showed me how.
You opened doors.
You led me every step of the way,
And You are still leading me.
It’s still hard to share with him.
I hardly ever please him.
He still doesn’t show his love very often,
But You have shown me that there is meaning in all relationships.
You have given me the grace to take all hurts,
Knowing that now You suffer with me.
The grief that I feel now is not all mine.
I know that You grieve too.
My circumstances may not have changed,
Outward appearances may say that they have worsened,
But inside I am slowly being made whole.
The day that I knew You had forgiven me I was able to forgive him.
Not just for the hurts that he inflicted deliberately,
But for those of which he is unaware.
The ones that are part of his background,
The ones from which he needs that deep healing.
You are so gentle’ Lord.
You alone know how fast we can go.
Our human side often makes mistakes as we try to hurry Your work along.
You have shown me that You can perform many miracles,
But the biggest of all must be to turn a life around
Without changing the circumstances.
But You never do.
Others cast sideways glances and mutter under their breath,
But You just keep on loving.
Although the flesh may be weak the heart is willing;
That You alone know, and that is all that matters.
Thank you, Lord, for giving me a glimpse of heaven on earth.
Thank you, Lord, for being so close nothing else matters.
Thank you, Lord, that though I may not see You footprints
They are surely there,
And You are guiding my feet along a path
That You have especially mapped out for me.
Thank you, Lord, for making me special.
Written in 1986